She recently came out with a new song called "Try" that was inspired by the music industry tugging her in a million directions and photoshopping every picture published of her. She didn't want that, so she did what any awesome, extremely talented and beautiful celebrity (I told you, soul sisters), would do and wrote a song about it practically giving a big middle finger to the industry.
(If you want to read an interview she did with Elle magazine about the song you can do so here: http://www.elle.com/news/beauty-makeup/colbie-caillat-try-video-makeup-transformation)
Do yourself a favor and watch this genius piece of art:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8
Watching her music video inspired me to write what I've been thinking about for a long time. And it's about how to like yourself. And although this song is promoting not wearing make-up and being the 'real you', I am not saying that all us women need to throw out our make up and boycott doing our hair. Some people (like me) enjoy that stuff. And to me, there is nothing wrong with that. Some people may enjoy spending an hr a day perfecting their foundation or doing their eyeliner (little extreme, but hey). I'm all for that, just as long as it is something they want to do as opposed to something they feel they have to do. The important thing is that when they take off their make up at night, they can look in the mirror and still like themselves.
While you read this, I hope you can take it with a grain of salt. I am definitely not writing this because I have perfected this, but here are three simple ways to begin the process.
1. Blame Yourself.
I know, I know. I'm tricky. And you're confused and this totally doesn't seem like something that would be on the "To-Do" list in order to like yourself. But let me explain.
Women in this world are ANGRY. We are also very powerful creatures with a lot to say. We protest about our human rights, our salaries, victoria secret models that are too skinny and celebrities that are too pretty. But what baffles me, as powerful as we really are, we decide to blame the 'media' for our eating disorders, our depression, our cellulite and our bushy eyebrows.
No wonder women aren't taken seriously.
We (women) are protesting human rights for a gender that we also act so shameful of.
We are demanding control over our bodies that behind closed doors we spend a lot of time hating and manipulating.
We are blaming everyone in the world for our insecurities, besides ourselves.
If you hate your muffin top, it's not the world's fault, do something about it. Or if you happen to love your muffin top, then own it and rock those low-ride jeans! Just as long as you realize that what you choose to do and how you choose to view it are your own choices.
Granted, I know that media has a h u g e influence in our society. I am not ignorant nor immune to their deceitful ways. But I think we spend waaaaay too much time giving credit to the media for our problems, instead of recognizing that we play a leading role in them.
Blaming yourself is the first step in beginning to truly love yourself. I can blame myself for so many mistakes I have made in my life, and my own, flawed, self-perception is definitely one of them. It's like when I was in 7th grade and it was either I bought Hollister jeans (gag) that were never meant to be forced over my rather curvy beehind (yes, I just used that word), or I was going to be viewed as the poor nerd wearing jeans with no design on the pocket (gasp!). I blame myself for giving in and spending all my birthday money on those jeans even though wearing them felt like I was constantly walking around with a giant weggie up my crack (because I was) and ironically none of it changed the fact that I was still weird and nerdy. I blame myself for thinking my muscular and athletic body in high school meant I had thunder thighs (whoever created that term, go ahead and dig a hole and live in it) or that having a bra size above a 32C meant "I had a lot of fat" (HA). And the list goes on.
But would blaming anyone but myself for my stupid clothing purchases or ridiculous diets, in any way help myself love myself?
I get it. It takes guts. Real guts to admit that you're the cause of your own pain. Real guts to admit that blaming the world for your low self-esteem is a cowardly choice while also being completely ineffective. Pointing the finger at yourself is not easy. But the only way to change the perception of yourself is by taking the blame for how you feel about yourself.
2. Impress Yourself.
So after you blame yourself and feel terrible about the way you have treated yourself (sorry not sorry), it is now time to impress yourself. Impressing others is seriously, WAY too easy. Like come on. You want to impress your neighbors so you buy a fancy car? Piece of cake. You want to impress your fellow students so you spend every minute of your life studying so you can raise your hand and answer every question your professor asks? Annoying and also not creative. The real challenge, is focusing on impressing yourself.
Make a list of things you think you could never do. Then here it comes... do them. You think you can't craft or be creative? Get your booty on Pinterest, find someone who has already done it, buy the supplies, follow a step-by-step tutorial on how to do it and bam. You've done something that you thought you couldn't do and whether or not it is "Instagram worthy", you've impressed yourself and it'll give you motivation to try it again. You think you can't run a marathon? Or even just a mile? You think you cannot cook a decent meal or try a new hairstyle? What about holding your breath for a whole minute or cutting an entire onion without one single tear? Do things that make you proud. Do things that are w e i r d and unusual. Or do really normal, every day things that make you happy. Big or small, it doesn't matter because the result is always the same. Nothing feels better than accomplishing something that you thought you couldn't do... and especially when the only reason why you're doing it, is not for the gratification of others, but just simply for your own... which you will find to be a million x's better anyway.
3. Like Yourself.
Now the third step is just coming to terms with the fact that you're awesome. This step also requires you to realize that you are a daughter of God.
Your Heavenly Father has literally designed, sculpted and produced you individually while simultaneously stuffing you full of countless potential.
You think that He would create a beautiful earth and cram it with mediocre, unlikeable, average people? That would seem silly. We all have so much to like about ourselves. And by not choosing to recognize those things, we are not only wasting a bunch of time being upset about something that is actually amazingly beautiful, but we are also denying the divine and perfect hand that so carefully crafted us.
So just STOP being silly.
Look in the mirror. And finally admit to yourself (out loud)
"Gosh. I am freaking awesome".
A big worry of most moms (which should be) is for their little girls and what they are exposed to and how it affects their young and fragile self-esteem. But I think something more powerful than boycotting Barbie because she is a triple-zero, is just simply being an example of self-love. And if love is too strong of a word, then even just self-like. Realize that yes, your daughter may love a celebrity and want to be exactly like her, but in reality, you are her biggest idol and she is your biggest fan. So spend less time complaining and more time liking.
Again, I want to reiterate that what I am saying does not flow from my own book of wisdom and experience. In reality, all that I am saying, stems from the root of just common freakin' sense. I can't take credit for that.
But what I can take credit for, is choosing to commit to do more self-liking. And while I do it, it won't hurt to listen to this song on r e p e a t.
So in the words of my girl Colbie:
"Why, should you care, what they think of you, When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
Do you like you?"
No comments:
Post a Comment