How it all happened.

So let me begin by stating the obvious fact that I haven't updated in a while.
I guess that is proof enough of how crazy our lives have been the past 5 months.
From moving across the country (again), to finding our first house in Washington, to my new, first official post-graduate job, to finding out I was pregnant, to everything in between... it has been the most insane past couple a lot of months to say the least.
I still feel like we are nailing down a routine that just hasn't fallen into place yet. I am coming to terms with the fact that my life will ALWAYS be unexpected and that is the beauty of it.

Now I will share about how it all happened...

You know the cute stories about a girl finding out she's pregnant with her first child and coming up with a super cute way to tell her husband?
You know those super thought out, well planned and executed surprises all over Pinterest that are super intimate and romantic and you pin it to your "future life" album thinking "oh yes. One day. I am TOTALLY doing this".
And then, if you're anything like me, the moment is now and is happening and you panic and a cute, planned out announcement turns into an impulsive decision that includes a pee stick being thrown across the room. Welcome to my life.

So. That's basically what happened.

I had no idea that I was pregnant. Every time I have thought I was pregnant in the past, I was always wrong-- I just liked the thrill of buying pregnancy tests and totally freaking myself out I guess... (I'm working on that intuition thing...)
But I was aggressively tired and had missed a period... or two (I thought it was stress from moving and getting this new job). I finally caved and had this feeling to buy some tests. So I did. I bought the fancy digital kind that say "PREGNANT" or "NOT PREGNANT", that way there wouldn't be any squinting in the light to determine whether the second line was there or not.
The kicker: I didn't even tell Tanner. I didn't tell him that I bought these tests and I didn't tell him when I decided to finally pee on one. I just went into the bathroom and did it by myself... without really considering the fact that it might actually come back positive.

Well... it did.

And that's when the panic set in and all hopes of a cute announcement were completely thrown out the window. I took one more... "PREGNANT". Just like the first.

That's when I did what any newly pregnant, mature adult would do.

I walked out of the bathroom and Tanner was making something in the kitchen.
 I stopped about 5 feet away from him and without saying anything I threw the stick I just pee'd on straight at his head.

And that, my friends, was how I told my husband I was pregnant with our first child. 

Sometimes I shock myself with what I am capable of during times of panic. 

Then after he was really confused by why I just threw something at his head, he became even more confused when he realized it was a pregnancy test. He picked it up and when he saw the words "PREGNANT" across the bar, I was in such shock I even thought I had to interpret it for him.
I said "It says I'm pregnant" in a very awkward voice.
He said "Yeah... Um. I see that! Is this real!?"
When I started to cry... he knew this was no sick joke.

And he picked me up, spun me around and hugged me really tight for like 5 minutes.
I started to cry and shake and laugh and cough. I was out of breath for no reason.
I'm telling you... I have nailed awkward reactions. 

After the initial shock wore off a little bit (although it is even still lingering), we were beyond excited. We knew this was happening at this point in our life for a specific reason and we felt blessed to have been given this opportunity to bring life into the world.

Mostly, just seeing Tanner so giddy and excited made me the happiest I think I have ever been.
He is going to be a great daddy.
And I am going to try to be less awkward. No promises.
We love you so much already Baby Clark!

July.17.2015